"Pumpkin King Hendrix I"
The Gods spoke through him aeons go, when he got wasted on half a lager and started babbling uncontrollably. It may have been the lack of sentient thought, or the fact we were all stoned, but what he said made sense, and we have followed him ever since.

McFatty,
Patron Saint of Flab.
Fatty joined the council of the church when bribed with a bag of Monster Munch, which turned out to be empty. Learned in the areas of salad-dodging and the sacred and ancient art of inhaling whole Mars Bars, he is a key member of the CODC. The mysteries of his 'water-retaining' skills are admired by all.

Dr.Matt
Patron Saint of ASBOs
A doctor of philosophy, he advises the Church of its important unethical and immoral issues, including the promotion of Adultery, Gluttony and Sloth, and the sabotage of the Catholic Church. He is also a keen golf player and has a pet budgy called Harold.

Rev. VOR (Voice of Reason)
Patron Saint of Penis Jokes
The voice of reason in the Church, he stops us from being unleashed on the outside world. No-one else had ever managed this, but VOR's harsh whips and tight bondage ensured that we have never seen the light of day since. We also have an inexplicable aversion to leather.